Ashley Brooke Designs: Memory Trick

If you have trouble remembering people's names or their relationships to others in your circle of friend's or family, try this trick:

Whenever you get an invitation or announcement, add people to your address book.  Whether it's the old-fashioned kind or an electronic one, you can add people's information and make a note as to their connection to others.  For instance, "Goes by Bill, is Grandma's sister's son."




Content and Illustrations ©2010 Ashley Brooke Designs. All Rights Reserved.

Ashley Brooke Designs: National Letter Writing and Card Month

Now that we are well into April, it's high time to acknowledge that it is National Letter Writing and Card Month!  You know how we love a celebration around Ashley Brooke Designs :)

While we are emailing and twittering fiends around here. You can't run a stationery company unless you have a deep, deep love for paper and the art of a handwritten note.  Years from now, your inbox will be empty but letters you've written and received will live on.  That's the great thing about letters and notes. Not only are the infinitely more personal than other forms of communication but you can keep them forever and they serve as a sort of compact history of events.

So I encourage you to put pen to paper this month and send someone a real, honest to goodness letter.  I guarantee they'll love it and cherish it for years to come.  And  if you need some paper, you know who to call...;)






Content and Illustrations ©2010 Ashley Brooke Designs. All Rights Reserved.

Ashley Brooke Designs: Stress-Free Gifting

HI there!

Happy Thursday!  I am so excited to visit my cousin's new baby today--sweet, sweet Anna!  Then I get to have dinner with Miss Monogram and LAS--should be a fun-filled day!

Today I thought I'd share a favorite blurb from Emily Post's Etiquette with tips for stress-free gift giving.

-Ask recipients for hints or a wish-list.  Be on the lookout for items throughout the year.

-Trust your own judgment.   Don't be afraid that the gift isn't perfect, if you think they'll like it, they probably will.

-Stay on budget.  If you spend outside your budget, the fun of gifting will be overshadowed by the stress of extending your budget.

-Have nice, thoughtful gifts stashed away in a gift closet for when the gifting occasion presents itself.

Content and Illustrations ©2010 Ashley Brooke Designs. All Rights Reserved.

Ashley Brooke Designs: Dancing Queen

So sorry, our etiquette post was absent yesterday, blogger was being a pill and we never got back to it.  But today I thought we'd talk about dancing, since I spent a good bit of the weekend dancing at all the various wedding activities.

Here are some points of etiquette on the dance floor:

Don't come to the party or dance floor wearing too much cologne.

If the dance floor is packed, keep your steps and your arms contained

If you bump into somebody, apologize and say "So sorry"

Don't correct your dance partner

Content and Illustrations ©2010 Ashley Brooke Designs. All Rights Reserved.

Ashley Brooke Designs: Drive-Thru Windows

Good Morning!  It is POURING this morning, hopefully it will clear out later today or we'll start floating away :)

This past weekend one of my very best friends got married and she and her groom looked amazing and the evening was just perfect.  Maybe I'll share a few photos later this week ;)

On rainy, yucky days like today I'm super thankful for drive-thrus.  Sometimes I wish every place had one so I could zip up in my car and not have to get out and go inside.  But even at a drive-thru window, there are things to keep in mind regarding etiquette.

Remember to be patient.  Although this is a convenience, service is not instantaneous. Don't crowd a car in front of you or honk.  Always speak clearly into the intercom if there is one.  Have items like prescription slips or money, deposits, etc. ready to go.  And lastly, if you take something away from the drive-thru, check your receipt, bag, etc, before you pull away.

Just like everyone else, drive-thru attendants appreciate a please, thank you and a smile too!

Happy Monday!!




Content and Illustrations ©2010 Ashley Brooke Designs. All Rights Reserved.

Ashley Brooke Designs: Voicemail Messages

Here are some things to remember when leaving a message for someone or when someone leaves you a message:

Leaving voice mail:

Always state your name and number first thing.  This will alleviate your name and number from getting cut off when you've exceeded the allotted time for the message.  Keep your message brief.  People don't like long messages and you should save the majority of your conversation for when you do get in touch with the person you're trying to reach.  Particularly if you are leaving a message of complaint.  Keeping it brief will prevent you from feeling like you can say whatever you feel, instead of constructively offering criticism and looking for a solution.

Returning calls:

A good rule of thumb for returning messages is to do it within 24 hours, unless you are out of town or there are other extenuating circumstances.  If you are forced to leave a message, tell the person when exactly you'll be available to chat.  Hopefully this will help you to avoid playing phone tag.

Content and Illustrations ©2010 Ashley Brooke Designs. All Rights Reserved.

Ashley Brooke Designs: Respecting Other's Time

When I sit down to write these etiquette posts, I often consult my giant Etiquette volume which I love!  Sometimes I am spurred on by client or reader questions and other times, there is divine inspiration or downright annoyance in my own life or that of a friend, that prompts a topic.  Today may just be a combination of the latter two.  Etiquette is really the act of responding to specific situations in gracious ways and many times it is much more subtle than figuring out which side of the plate the shrimp fork goes on or how to address an invitation to a recently divorced woman (although both can be important and should be understood).  

Respect is the cornerstone of etiquette and nothing is less gracious than having no respect for someone's time.  We see this happen all the time and even I don't always take offense or notice it right away.  But anytime we are late, reschedule at the last minute or make someone wait unnecessarily for information, we are saying "We don't think your time is as important as ours," or " I don't respect your schedule or what you have going on." Money and time are in high demand and short supply.  For most people, time is money and it is precious.  So next time someone disrespects your time or you wait until the last minute and it affects someone else, think about how valuable time is to them and to you and make a point to be gracious and respectful. 


Content and Illustrations ©2010 Ashley Brooke Designs. All Rights Reserved.

Ashley Brooke Designs: Road Rage

Let's face it.  We've all had times on the road where our own road rage rears its ugly head.  Sometimes other drivers can be so incredibly frustrating and they can really push your buttons.  As irritated as you can get, some people can take road rage to a criminal level.  Here are some things you should never do in order to avoid getting into a dangerous situation.

• Never tailgate another driver, particularly if either party is driving fast
• Don't make eye contact with an aggressive driver
• Never make obscene gestures
• Don't lay on the horn without letting up
• Do not block the passing lane

Content and Illustrations ©2010 Ashley Brooke Designs. All Rights Reserved.

Ashley Brooke Designs: Hostess Gifts

Houseguests should think about giving a hostess gift when staying overnight.  Here are some great ideas (besides Ashley Brooke Designs, of course!) for hostess gifts.

-A best-selling book

-Hand towels for the bathroom

-Cocktail napkins

-Wine or liqueur

-Candles

-A houseplant in a permanent, simple pot

What do you take as a hostess gift??

Content and Illustrations ©2010 Ashley Brooke Designs. All Rights Reserved.

Ashley Brooke Designs:Nosy Questions

Inevitably, you will enter into conversation with someone who is nosy and has no qualms about asking the most inappropriate questions.  Before I was engaged/married I was constantly asked "When are you getting married?" or "Why aren't you engaged yet?"  It was such an odd question!  So here are some responses per Miss Emily Post herself, that can stop nosy conversationalists in their tracks.

When are you going to have children?

-"Who Knows?"

-"That's a pretty big decision, I'd rather not talk about right now"

How old are you?

-"34 and holding"

-"Old enough to know better"

Have you been sick?

-"Actually I feel great"

-"Why do you ask, do I look tired?"

How much did you pay for that?

-"Only what it's worth"

-"Wouldn't you like to know!"

Here are a few stock answers that will work for a variety of nosy questions:

" Why do you ask", "What does that have to do with anything?", "Sorry, I just prefer not to discuss such things"

Content and Illustrations ©2010 Ashley Brooke Designs. All Rights Reserved.

Ashley Brooke Designs: Saying No in Conversation

Saying no.  I think everyone can relate to the challenges of turning down an offer, invitation or opportunity.  But it's never as easy as it seems is it?  Sometimes saying no take real fortitude and I know for me, it's something I continue to have to work on.

Part of etiquette and manners is honesty, so if you really want to say no, no is the answer you should give.  But there are some ways to use the word no, in a positive way.

Try accompanying it with a positive comment, like, "No, but thanks for asking me" or "No, but I appreciate you thinking of me."  Don't hem and haw, saying things like, "Well I really shouldn't," when you mean no, because this leaves the door open to further discussion.  If there is an opportunity that you aren't wanting to do now, but may be open to later, make that known.  But don't throw out a "But do call me next year," if you aren't really up for it.

{sourced Emily Post's Etiquette}
Content and Illustrations ©2010 Ashley Brooke Designs. All Rights Reserved.

Ashley Brooke Designs: What a Good Conversationalist Knows

A good conversationalist knows many things.  Including...

Know when to stop talking: People who talk too much can also be the ones who speak without thinking.  And we all know that this can lead to embarrassing moments.

Keep up with world events: Reading a newspaper or magazine will help you come up with subject matter to discuss with others and you'll be able to relate to other people's discussions.

Avoid Repetitions: Stories told multiple times can be boring.  If you aren't sure about whether or not you've told the story before, ask "Did I tell you about Lucy's latest escapade?"

Don't Whisper: Whispering or talking low to one person, can denote something being kept in secret.

{sourced from Emily Post}
Content and Illustrations ©2010 Ashley Brooke Designs. All Rights Reserved.

Ashley Brooke Designs: The Etiquette of Conversation

Good Morning!  It's the day after Oscar and I am still catching up on all the gorgeous gowns, since I was driving last night during all the festivities.  Ever thought about all the small talk conversation your favorites stars must have to make at award shows??

This week I thought we could look at good old fashioned conversation.  Are you ever at a loss as to what to say?  Or shocked by some of the inappropriate things people say to you?  I've been on both ends of the spectrum multiple times.  Let's start this Monday with the basics, shall we?

The two most important aspects of conversation are probably thinking and listening.  Being thoughtful about your audience will influence what you say to them, and if you should say anything at all really.  Should you council a friend on bridesmaids gifts when she isn't in your bridal party?  Probably not.  Listening is also crucial.  Lots of times we are thinking so carefully about what we want to say in response that we are not even listening to the other person.

Interruptions are rude.  The only time it's remotely OK is when you have something that honestly can't wait.  But otherwise, avoid interrupting someone just to throw in your two cents.

Be sure and leave people with a comfortable amount of personal space.  The standard is to be no closer than eighteen inches apart.  Be conscious of height as well so that no one has to look up or down at you.




Content and Illustrations ©2010 Ashley Brooke Designs. All Rights Reserved.

Ashley Brooke Designs: The Finer Points of Tipping

To piggyback off of yesterday's helpful hints regarding invitation mailing, I thought we could cover some of the finer points of tipping.  Most of us are familiar with the customary 15-20% tip for a server at a restaurant but there are countless other experiences where how much and what to tip can come up.

Here are a few general guidelines:

-If you are in doubt about tipping, don't be afraid to ask.  If you are getting a sofa delivered, call the store and ask if tipping is customary.  At a hair salon, ask the receptionist.  Asking is helpful because there are certain organizations and situations where tipping could be discouraged or even seen as demeaning.

-Tip on the pre-tax amount.  Not the total bill

-Be discreet in your tipping.  Flashing bills and making a big show is definitely in poor taste.

-Money is the tip of choice in most cases but around the holidays for example, a tip can be substituted with a small gift.

sourced from Emily Post's Etiquette.

Content and Illustrations ©2010 Ashley Brooke Designs. All Rights Reserved.

When to Send?

Good Morning!  I can't believe it's already the first day of March!! 2010 is flying by.  This morning and Wednesday I will be posting on the It's Better Together blog.  It's Better Together is a group of creative professionals and entrepreneurs that meets periodically in the central Florida area.  I love being a part of this group and I'm thrilled they've asked me to post on the blog.

While thumbing through my Emily Post's Etiquette the other day I came across a list that I thought was particularly helpful.  When sending invitations, sometimes it's hard to know when to send which type of invitation.  So direct from from Ms. Post, here is the run-down on invitation mailings.

Wedding Invitations: 6-8 weeks

Anniversary Party: 3-6 weeks

Bar or Bat Mitzvah: 1 month

Bon Voyage: Last minute to 3 weeks

Charity Ball: 6 weeks to 3 months

Christmas Party: 1 month

Cocktail Party: 1-4 weeks

Debutante Ball: 6 weeks to 3 months

Formal Dinner: 3-6 weeks

Graduation Party: 3 weeks

Housewarming Party: Few days to 3 weeks

Lunch or Tea: Few days to 2 weeks

Thanksgiving Dinner: 2 weeks to 2 months


Content and Illustrations ©2010 Ashley Brooke Designs. All Rights Reserved.

Ashley Brooke Designs: Bridal Showers

The bridal shower started in ancient times when the community would "shower" newlyweds with grains of wheat or sweet cakes to symbolize wishes for fertility and prosperity.

Showers should be an intimate gathering of friends and family designed to celebrate the upcoming wedding.  Showers can be held any time of day and can have various themes that dictate the types of gifts the bride receives. 

Showers are usually hosted by close friends of the bride, the groom or their parents.  Professional colleagues have been known to throw "work showers"  and some events know include both the bride and the groom.  In the case of friends of mine who were married last May, the groom was thrown his own "tool shower" by his best buddies.

The host or hostess issues the invitations with a guest list of the brides choosing.  Out of courtesy for your host or hostess, brides should provide a complete list with all the necessary information to address and send the invitations.

During the shower, opening gifts is certainly a highlight.  Be sure and have someone record who gave what gift so that the bride can refer to this list when writing thank you notes.

Content and Illustrations ©2009 Ashley Brooke Designs. All Rights Reserved.

Ashley Brooke Design: Unconvential Showers

Encore Showers

Emily Post says it is perfectly fine to throw a shower for the second or even third baby when the guest list is kept to close relatives and very close friends and guests who did not attend the first shower.  If the family has moved, it makes sense for their new friends to throw them a shower regardless of how many children they have.

If the parents are well stocked with their baby supply needs, it could be fun to throw a themed shower like "stock the cabinets" or "fun for Mom & Dad" where guests bring things for the parents to enjoy like babysitting coupons or their favorite DVDs, maybe tickets to a movie or play.





Content and Illustrations ©2009 Ashley Brooke Designs. All Rights Reserved.

Ashley Brooke Designs: Shopping Stops Etiquette

We all know that different places have different "rules" that apply.  I thought here at Ashley's Daily Dose of Etiquette we would look at a couple of key points for various places you may find yourself.

In a department store:  If you can't find a salesperson, approach the nearest register and ask where you can find an associate to help.  If an associate is hovering it is perfectly fine to say "Thanks for your help but I'd like to look on my own and I'll come find you when I'm ready to check out."

At a pharmacy: Call in your Rx unless you are prepared to wait.  If there are unexpected changes in your insurance, cost of prescription, etc. don't take it out on your pharmacist.

At the salon: Be on time since your tardiness could mess up the schedule for the rest of the day. Also be honest but kind if you decide to switch stylists.  You should never just disappear.  Maybe something like "I just feel like I'm in a rut and I'd love to try one of Daisy's crazy haircuts to spice things up!"  Likewise if you aren't happy with a cut or color, speak up as soon as possible so it can be corrected the next day.

At yard sales:  Honor any request for no early birds and carry small bills.  Also, leave display as you found them, not in disarray!

Stayed tuned later today for a peek another Ashley Brooke Designs custom illustration!

xoxo,

EHK

Coffee, Tea or Me?

Table manners extend to beverages too and today when so many meetings and social interactions take place over coffee and tea, I thought it might be good to look at specific etiquette tips associated with these yummy treats.

Four Don'ts:

1.  Your spoon should rest on the saucer or plate, do not leave it in the cup or mug

2.  Don't take ice from your water to cool a hot drink

3.  Don't dunk doughnuts, biscotti or anything else in your coffee, unless you are in a SUPER casual environment where that is the norm

4.  Don't crook your pinkie when drinking from your teacup, this went out of fashion in the Victorian age.

Dining and Entertaining

I thought we'd get back to basics this week and take a look at some good old fashioned table manners.  Particularly if you have a Valentine's date coming up, it is always nice to make a good impression at the dinner table, whether your out and about or in someone's home.  Having good table manners allows everyone to focus on the meal and conversation rather than the distractions of someone's poor table manners. Let's review some examples of a table setting:

If you are ever overwhelmed by your place setting, remember that when it comes to utensils, you always work from the outside in.  There is never more than three of any element (unless there's an oyster fork, making 4 forks in a formal setting) and the cutting edge of the knife always faces in toward the plate.

(content via Etiquette by Emily Post 17th ed. and photo credit)